Mar 07 2009
Why Are There Too Many Chickens
Maybe I should start by explaining the significance of the “chickens”. One day I was flipping through one of those catalogs you get in the mail that you should immediately pitch in the trash but you don’t cause there might be something in it that you just have to have and will never find again anywhere else and could spend the rest of your life not knowing that you could have had if you had only taken the time to look at the junk mail. Well anyways, I couldn’t take that chance! While oohing and awwwing over all the marvelous items I was sure I needed, I ran across this T-shirt. It said, “People tell me I have ADD but they just don’t understand OH LOOK…there goes a chicken!” I laughed sooo hard I had to run to the bathroom cause I was gonna pee on myself (a lovely side effect of hysterectomies, but wait, that’s a different story).
You would have to sit back and observe my family dynamics in action to truly appreciate the multitude of feathers flying in any given conversation. We don’t just have a chicken or two; we have flocks …whole herds of the noisy cluckers. We can start off having a perfectly normal conversation and end up with a dozen side stories which are clearly not related to the subject matter. (You have nooo idea the amount of stress I am under right now from trying to stick to the subject matter!!!) If more than two of us are involved in an important conversation, it frequently becomes necessary for someone to invoke the chicken wire rule. This means that only one of us can speak at a time, and must complete our thought outloud before the next person starts. (most of the time the chickens knock down the wire and get out anyway and we spend the rest of the time chasing them…lol).
For example, I just got off the phone with my sister. My grandson had a pool party a few days ago for his 4th birthday…there was snow and freezing rain outside while everyone played in the heated pool inside. We started with – Are you still in bed? I figured you were getting ready for church? And ended with – Ever since Sam Walton died she’s had to take sooo many things back to the store. The banter in-between included sick kids… money… our recent trip to Las Vegas… guns… internet passwords… firewood… the party (which was the reason I called)… and the whole conversation only lasted 6 minutes and 42 seconds!
And this, my dear sister, is what you should have doing for years…can’t wait to read your next blog…can you hook me up as a subscriber or something? Chickens…chickens….only you….